What does finding “the one” mean to you? For most people, finding “the one” means connecting with your perfect match. Your soul mate. The one person guaranteed to bring you everlasting happiness. Many people spend their entire lives waiting to meet their soul mate. They wish for the perfect person to arrive on their doorstep and sweep them off their feet. To many people, meeting their soul mate feels like your destiny, as if the universe means for you to meet. Of course, your soul mate would be beautiful in every way. They would be physically attractive, irresistibly charming, and overwhelmingly kind. They would compensate for all of your weaknesses and understand your dreams. As if by some magical connection, they’d know you in a way no one else in the world ever would. In other words, they reflect everything you could ever want in a person, a friend, and a partner.
But here’s the problem with soul mates: there’s no such thing as a perfect match, just like there’s no such thing as a perfect person. Books and movies have taught us that soul mates are effortlessly romantic characters who fall head over heels in love with each and every part of us. They never leave. They never make mistakes. They never get on our nerves or make decisions we don’t like. But anyone who’s ever been in a loving relationship knows that these things are inevitable. In reality, finding “the one” doesn’t mean finding an imaginary caricature of a person.
There’s no psychic or supernatural coincidence that binds you and your “other half” together, because “the one” could be almost anyone. Without knowing it, you may have already found the one. It could be your current partner, your closest friend, or someone you loved a long time ago. Ultimately, the one isn’t the person who’s perfect for you in every way. It’s the person with whom you create a happy and satisfying life. So, how do you know when you’ve found the one? Instead of searching for soul mates or perfect matches, here are 10 signs that you’ve found someone that can make you truly happy.
1] Balanced Personalities
We often hear phrases like, “opposites attract,” and to some extent that’s exactly right. In strong, long relationships, partners may have prominently contrasting qualities. You may be introverted, While your partner is more extroverted. They may be a calculated planner while you are an adventurous free-spirit. In other words, the right person for you is someone who balances your personality. Their interests or personality traits may challenge you to get you out of your comfort and learn new things. For example, if you are a more reserved person, your partner may teach you how to let go. While your partner’s goal is never to change your personality, you may discover that spending time together helps you grow as an individual. You learn from their strengths, just like they learn from yours. That’s what makes this person a great fit for you.
2] A Different Feeling
Does something about your relationship feel different? When you find “the one,” it may feel like you’ve encountered something big or significant. For reasons you can’t describe, your
relationship feels more substantial or more serious than any relationship you’ve been in before. In the past, you may have struggled with destructive patterns. You may have made mistakes and struggled with rampant insecurities. But in this relationship something feels different. You feel an unprecedented level of comfort around this person, which gives you the confidence to be your genuine self. You can openly express your feelings, which gives you the courage to take the relationship to the next level. For whatever reason, your new relationship feels different than any you’ve ever had before and that’s why this person is the one for you.
3] Steady Development
If a relationship has real, long-term potential, partners consistently push each other in a positive direction. No one is slamming on the gas, but no one is twiddling their thumbs either. When people feel uncertain, they usually compensate by slowing down or speeding up the pace of your relationship. However, with the right person, the relationship moves at a calm, steady pace, consistently developing in a way that’s comfortable and rewarding for both partners. Why? Because you and your partner are on the same page. Your feelings for each other develop at a similar rate. You’re not going too fast. You’re not going to slow. Because subconsciously you and your partner are feeling the same things.
4] Intertwining Paths
The one isn’t just someone With similar personality traits. You may have good chemistry and similar temperaments, but you also need to find someone whose lifestyle harmonizes with your own. Finding “the one” often means merging your lives together. It means sharing meals, watching television, enjoying time with friends, and spending holidays with family – all of which you’ll do with your partner at your side. In many ways, the one is someone whose day to day choices complement your own. Without thinking, your daily lives and schedules naturally fit together. You like doing the same things and eating at the same places. You have similar social habits, hobbies, and routines. I’m not saying everything about you should be the same. You’re still an individual with your own goals and aspirations. You’re walking your own paths; yet those paths seamlessly intertwine because you have found the one.
5] Mutual Decision-Making
In a lasting relationship, partners don’t make decisions on their own. No matter what questions are on the table, strong partners always come together to communicate, express their feelings, and make decisions with their relationship in mind. Even if it is your choice to make, the right partner wants to be involved. They want to offer you unconditional support and honest communication. Because they don’t want you to bear burden on your own, nor do they expect you to automatically know the right thing to do. If you find the one, you’ve found someone who wants to be involved every step of the way. They want to troubleshoot problems, navigate hardships, and find lasting happiness together, not apart. This person wants to work with you, not for you or against you, because no matter what they will always stand by your side.
6] Accepting Flaws
The right person won’t have every quality you’re looking for in a partner. They may not check all your boxes Because the person for you is only human. They’ve made mistakes, experienced failures, and struggled with bad habits. Just like you, they are flawed human beings, trying to figure out their way in the world. Even if you find “the one,” you will probably notice their flaws. You may see their weaknesses very clearly. Yet those weaknesses won’t scare you away. Instead, you’ll come to love them for their shortcomings. Your partner’s flaws, quirks, and idiosyncrasies may be your favorite things about them. Yes, they are weaknesses, but they are also the qualities that make your partner unique and special. In most relationships, flaws are a dealbreaker. You see them as red flags and warning signs. But when you find “the one,” their shortcomings may be the reason you stick around.
7] Reciprocal Sacrifices
Every relationship is a give and take. There will be times when you must put your partner’s needs in front of your own, even if that makes you uncomfortable. If you’ve found “the one,” this person will be willing and able to make the same sacrifices for you. When partners are unwilling to make sacrifices, even small ones, it’s usually a sign of fear, insecurity, or discomfort in the relationship. Deep down, this person is not invested enough in the relationship to put your needs in front of their own. Or maybe they expect you to be accommodating and don’t value your time and resources. In either case, you have not found the right person for you. “The one” is not only aware of the sacrifices you make, but they are also willing to prioritize your needs when it matters. If this sounds like someone in your life, the one may be someone you already know.
8] Constructive Arguments
An argument between partners tells you a lot about the strength of their relationship. When a fragile or insecure couple argues, those arguments may become unhealthy and even toxic. Partners lash out, get defensive, or pass the blame for their mistakes. However, if you’ve found “the one,” your arguments never become toxic or cruel. Instead, they are consistently respectful and constructive. Even when you’re angry, you both have the best interests of the relationship at heart. No matter how bad an argument gets, you want what is best for them, and they want what is best for you.
9] Total Authenticity
A lasting relationship is an honest relationship. If you’ve found the one, you’ve found someone who knows and accepts you exactly the way you are. They don’t want you to change. They don’t expect you to put on a mask, and they never ask you to act like someone you’re not. “The one” is someone who knows what you’re like behind closed doors. They know the truest version of you, and that’s the version of you they love most.
10] Valuing Happiness
Ultimately, the right partner wants one thing above all else. They want you to be happy. They want your relationship to improve both of your lives, and they want to give you support as you become a better version of yourself. “The one” will be someone who lifts you up and makes you smile. “The one” consistently picks you up when you fail and celebrates when you succeed, to put it simply, “the one” is a partner who cares deeply about your happiness, because your happiness is their happiness. If you feel the same way, it’s possible you’ve found the one for you.